Family Letters
by Fabulous and Feminist
Summary: The letters Dom told Kel about in squire. Occasional KN hints but mainly KD ad NY!
1. Neal

**An. I am so sure that this will suck. I'm tired and I just read a really depressing book, letters from the inside. Has anyone read it? Anyways, it rocks but it's really sad at the end. All prisons and lost friendships. Hey I'm sappy and emotional! It happens when you're knee's mucked up and your ears are full of chlorinated water. But life goes on. I'm really depressed though. My friend's messed up and the book… this is more of a diary entry that an authors note. Soz.**

**This is for Opalshine because I'm giving up on Caedmon of Mindelan. Sorry it took so long. **

**Disclaimer: Usual rubbish. Do not own, blah, blah, blah.**

My dear cousin,

I resent that name. It's so…childish. I thought you were better than that. I mean, seriously. Meathead? What possessed you? I'm not that bad. You know, the stump is though. I mean Lord Wyldon. Actually he might read this. Oops.

Tell your mother that she's a saint. I adored the books. I think I shall go mad from lack of intelligent conversation. Although it's debatable whether I ever had that. I mean, just think about you.

You know how I am with my poetry. I should send you a few copies. Daine, the wildmage is my latest receiver. She's amazing. Her hair waves: I have decided women with curly hair must rule over the entire male population. It's beautiful. I have come to the conclusion (**an. Hey history with a bad teacher comes in useful with weird phrase things!) **that if it means being closer to her, I will go to every lecture and bow down to every animal I meet. Maybe one will be her.

I will write more another day but I have to see the new pages. Tell you all about it.

Neal

(**An. Okay I'm changing this bit and adding how Dom feels when he reads it.)**

Dom grinned cruelly. It was great tormenting Neal. Across the table Wolset gulped. The new 'boy' looked almost as scary as Raoul when told he had to stay at the palace. Unfortunately as Wolset was about to disappear, he was called back. God that guy was crazy!

Loud laughter greeted the knight commander as he wandered into the mess. Frowning he followed he noise, sitting in a large group were the entire kings own. All roaring with laughter at a certain new man of his. Well this could be interesting. Gently the big man slipped into the throng of men.

**An. Next chapter: Dom's reply. Mwahahahaha. Why did I do that? I'm hyper. Review!**


	2. Dom

**You know, all my wonderful reviewers. I could write back but then you wouldn't end u with a chapter because of lack of time on the computer. What I'm trying to say is that I love you all but I don't have time to update and thank you.**

**Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I am Tamora Pierce. Does anyone read these? Course I'm not. Seriously, review and tell me.**

**Oh and how do you do page breaks?**

My dearest meathead,

It was lovely to hear, blah, blah, blah. My troop found it VERY amusing. Especially when a certain black robed mage and a certain wild mage heard a certain paragraph a certain cousin of yours happened to read out. I can just see your face. Oh that was worth it.

No, I'm not that mean. I did tell Raoul and the others though. So, tell me bout sponsoring. Did **you, **Mithros forbid, sponsor anyone? If so, send them my condolences.

Might see you soon. Might come to the palace. Depends on how long our commander can hold out against the king.

See you

Dom,

Neal ground his teeth. Dom was so maddening! Honestly, he had no idea how the higher intellectual's mind worked. And that joke!

Aaaaaaaagggggggghhhhh! Kel looked at her friend worriedly. He seemed to be strangling the air.

"Uh Neal?" she muttered. "You're throttling the air." Seeing that Neal wasn't listening she sighed and neatened the letter. Unfortunately for Neal, reading it and adding therefore to his misery.

After all, if she wrote to Dom, who knows what he might blurt out 'accidentally'.

**Sorry it's short. Neal just seems to be the one that'll write pages. Guess what comes next?**

**Fine, Neal's letter and KEL! Hehe. **

**Could I have reviews that say more than just its good, update. I'd rather have flames really.**

**Are you male or female, reviewer? Just wondered.**


	3. Kel arrives

**An. hey people. I am trying to update despite my computer loosing the chapter I'm working on twice. Here's Kel. Fun fun fun.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. Unfortunately that includes Dom. Pity.**

Cousin Domitan,

Despite naming you as my cousin in the above statement, I am ashamed to be related to you. Do you realize how cruel your previous letter was? Have you no thought for my mental health? I am disgraced that a cousin of mine could write so many cruel statements.

I am disgusted that you could reveal so many of my deepest secrets to anyone you same across. It is a violation of family trust. I am also disappointed that you have so little trust in me. I am sponsoring a page.

Keladry of Mindelan to be precise. I believe we will get on well.

I am ending my letter here out of contempt for my pathetic excuse for a cousin.

Feel free to read _this _letter out.

Disappointed

Nealan of Queenscove

Dom roared with laughter at Neal's pathetic excuse for an ending. Feel free to read this out? What was that all about? Grinning, he cleared his throat. Immediately all of the King's own surrounded him.

Dramatically he coughed and slooooowly opened the letter. Lerant and Wolset laughed, about the flair for dramatics Dom had (which he happened to despise in Neal). Well Dom hoped that was what they were laughing about.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Tortall, A black mage and his lover laughed at a scene they'd happened to view in a scrying mirror not so long ago.

**An. That was fun. And I updated kiddies. So I am owed cookies.**

**If you were Thayet for a day what would you do? I want CLEAN answers.**


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